Imagine that an extremely valuable treasure is in the middle of a massive fire, buried deep within the coals. We watch as a man continues to try and creep closer, dodging the flames and attempting to avoid the heat. His shoes begin to melt; his hair begins to burn and his clothes begin to smolder.
We try to shout to him. To warn him from the painful death he is most assuredly about to experience. But he responds with his own shouts, "Don't worry” He cries, “I won't get burned. If I can just get to the treasure, I'll be okay."
Now imagine a wild, hungry lion roaring loudly from within a nearby cage. It is evident by the temperament of the lion that he is on the verge of starving and will devour anything he can sink his teeth into. We watch as a young man approaches the lion holding a giant slab of meat. We look on in horror as he begins to open the door of the cage. He proceeds to hold out the meat in front of the lion. We cry out, “Get out. Run. He’ll kill you.” But just like our friend in the fire, he responds, "Don't worry. I won't get bit. I'll be okay. I’m just going to feed him once."
There is a cancer that has crept into our Churches and infected more men, women and children than we could possibly imagine.
This cancer is eating the Church alive from the inside. The most terrifying part? Many of us are welcoming this cancer into our lives with open arms.
If we can just get to the treasure with minimal burns than it will be worth it.
If we just feed the lion once...
Ridiculous, you say, no one would take either of those risks.
I wish you were right.
Sadly, the opposite seems to be true when it comes to sexual sin.
We must stop making elaborate excuses for ourselves and for each other.
I've witnessed men lament over their porn habit one moment and then proceed to discuss how excited they are to go home and watch the next episode of Game of Thrones the next. In fact, I used to do this very thing.
I've listened to men express their desire to reach out and get help. They want to get serious about fighting their sexual addiction. But a spouse, friend or pastor tells them they aren’t addicted. "It’s just a sin problem. Keep reading your Bible, going to church and asking for forgiveness. You will be okay. You got this.”
The men end up choosing the easy route. They continue to do what they’ve been doing, fighting their sin in isolation, failing to see any change. They accept the mentality that they will always struggle with sexual sin. They believe that true victory isn’t possible and that obedience to God’s commands cannot be achieved.
For years I had a list of "do's and don'ts" for myself. I thought that, if I followed them, I would be able to control my addiction. I would minimize the hurt that I would cause to those around me. I would minimize the damage my addiction would cause to myself. I was in control.
I won’t get burned.
I’ll just feed him when he’s hungry.
Everything was okay.
Except it wasn't.
In the end...
Cancer kills. Fires burn. Lion's bite.
Sexual sin is no different.
Once you give in and take a bite it will burn you... and if that burn is left untreated... it will consume you.
And once it consumes you…
It will kill you.
This is the reality of sin.
James 1:15 says, “Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin! Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer.”
If sexual sin is a killer than the following statistics should have the Church extremely concerned. (Sources listed below)
My personnel experience with sexual sin.
When I was stuck in my pit, I believed every lie ever told in regards to sexual sin.
It was my escape, my comfort, my closest friend that was always there for me. I felt that it never failed me. It was a safety net that provided an escape from the world around me. But in the end, it almost cost me my life and, in all honesty, it should have cost me my marriage.
The perversion of God's amazing and wonderful gift of sex is one of Satan's greatest weapons. Due to the hyper-sexuality of our culture there is an increasing stigma of shame associated with sexual sin within our Churches.
Kids within the church grow up thinking that "Sex is bad" before they have any idea what sex actually is.
Men & women within the church are terrified to come forth and admit they struggle with pornography, immorality or adultery because they fear the amount of shame, humiliation and punishment they will experience from the Church.
We cannot continue to do nothing.
I refuse to remain silent.
As a young child, my innocence was stolen from me. I was robbed of it as I sat upon my father’s lap and he "accidentally" navigated to a website with pornographic images. I was too young to understand what I had just seen but I would never be the same. My curiosity was ignited. My innocence was gone.
That moment, and the abuse that came with it, forever altered who I am.
But I refuse to let that moment define me.
What my earthly father stole from me, my heavenly Father can give back.
The wounds of my heart can be healed. The longings of my soul can be satisfied. I serve a God that spoke this world into existence from nothing. I serve a God who defeated death and rose victorious over the grave.
I serve a God who can provide the power to defeat pornography and sexual sin.
A Call For Action
Church, this a call to arms. This is a rally cry.
A battle has been raging since the Garden of Eden and I fear that we have become far too complacent in the fight.
We must take action. We must stand together as one unified body of believers. With the power granted to us by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we must decide to fight back against sexual sin.
The failure to do so will continue to result in the destruction of our churches, families, marriages, and the lives of our children.
So what can we do? Where do we go from here?
It’s time to stop believing the lie that complete victory over sexual sin is not possible.
Pornography, or any form of sexual sin, has NO place in the life of a Christian.
The battle is raging.
We are not called to live defeated and ashamed.
It’s time to fight.
The Tech-Wise Family
Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds
The Porn Phenomenon Book & E-Book
The Porn Phenomenon
Several weeks ago, my family and I were walking out of a local grocery store towards our car. As we approached our vehicle, I noticed an elderly women sitting in the driver’s side of her car with her head in her hands and tears streaming down her face. Emily walked to the passenger’s side of our vehicle while I began loading our groceries into the car. My first thought was, "Emily is going to want to find out what's wrong and see if she can help."
Within seconds, Emily walked up behind me and let me know she had noticed the same thing that I had noticed and she was going to go find out if she could help. She had overheard parts of a phone conversation and it seemed that they elderly woman was distraught over not being able to purchase groceries for herself or her granddaughter.
Emily approached the woman, attempting to comfort her and discover the reason behind her tears. The woman explained that she was supposed to meet someone from her church at the grocery store and they were going to help her buy some groceries. For one reason or another they had contacted her and said they would be unable to make it.
Emily walked over to update me on the situation. At this point, I already knew what was about to happen. If there is anything that is always true about my wife it is the fact that she will always go out of her way to help others in a time of need.
Emily took the credit card and went back to help the elderly lady out of her car. I watched as my wife walked through the parking lot with the woman and eventually disappeared into the store. The elderly woman was using a walker, so I had plenty of time to soak in the entire scene.
A few moments before, she was a stranger in complete distress. Now, her countenance had completely changed. She wore a smile on her face and joy was radiating from her every step. A need, that she had no ability to meet herself, had been met by a complete stranger.
I wish that I had taken a picture of them as they walked in. I was so busy soaking in the moment, extremely proud of the action my wife had taken, that taking a picture never even crossed my mind.
In the end, my wife helped the woman purchase several things that were a necessity. She helped load the groceries into the elderly ladies car and watched as she drove off.
This world needs more of it.
When my son continues to jump off the furniture, climb the fence in the backyard or continues to do some other activity that he has been repeatedly told not do, he seems to always ending up injuring himself. More often than not, my first response is to lecture him.
"Well if you would have just obeyed…" or "I told you that was going to happen…"
But my wife? She comes running at the sound of his pain. She picks him up in her arms and loves him. Normally, the pain from the scrape, bump or bruise is gone within seconds. Even when a warning or command has been ignored, she is there to comfort him in his distress.
She shows compassion.
I admit, my strategy of lecturing while comforting is not the most effective… or comforting for that matter. I have much to learn from my wife in this area of compassion. I am always amazed at how well my son listens to my wife when she explain to him how he could have avoided getting hurt if he would have obeyed.
Ironically, I have a vast amount of similar stories that I could share about my own life. Sadly, most of my "wounds" have been much grander than simply a bump or a bruise. The warnings that I have ignored have often had much more drastic consequences. Yet, my mother has continued to love and comfort amidst my foolish ignorance.
This past August, as I walked with my wife answering one question after another about the affairs, lies and secrets regarding my hidden life, I expected the result of that conversation to be the beginning of the end of our marriage.
The reality is that the opposite was true. That moment was the beginning of our marriage. She looked me in the eye and said that she wasn't going anywhere. That she was going to fight for our marriage and she wanted me to join her in that fight.
She looked at me at my worst, amidst a plethora of lies, adultery and seemingly unforgivable sins, and she chose to love me.
She was showing me a deeper form of compassion than most refuse to ever show...
Since that moment, my life has been drastically transformed. While that transformation has been an incredible work by Almighty God, I do not believe that transformation would have taken place without the unfathomable love, mercy and forgiveness of two incredible women in my life.
They both have wept & prayed for me more than anyone else I know.
The words you are reading right now would never have been written if not for them.
Those women? My Mother and, the closest friend I have in the entire world, my Wife.
Thank you both for never giving up on me. Even when I had given up on myself.
When others wrote me off as someone who was spirally out of control and would never change,.. you never stopped praying.
When other's said love and forgiveness have their limits,.. you dug deeper and continued to love and forgive.
Your lives are truly a testimony of the love that Christ has shown to us all.
You are lights of hope and love in an incredibly dark and dreary world.
I am truly blessed.
Happy Mother's Day
I've celebrated 4 anniversaries of my 25th birthday. I have an amazing wife & an incredible son. God is transforming my life and I love to write. Here you will find my ramblings about what God has done, is doing and my dreams of what I hope He will do in the future. Thanks for coming along for the ride!